Vulcan's Sister
A blog about Paganism and disability.
Ritual with special-needs kids
Apr 30th
Meredith, at Witchtastic, has an excellent post from her experience as a Pagan and mother to a child with special needs. She makes some interesting points about creating ritual experiences that can include her boy, who has sensory integration issues:
- Heavy work — some kids find it comforting to get their whole bodies involved in a process like casting the circle, pushing on walls or otherwise getting their physical selves deeply immersed in the experience of creating the temple.
- Inclusion despite limits — Meredith’s son is nonverbal, but can wave hello to the elements or the gods. She uses a push light for “fire” to give him a way to safely invoke that element.
- Respecting where he is — if he’s not up for doing ritual at a given time, he doesn’t have to.
I know many Pagan parents struggle with how to keep their own spirituality alive while respecting their children’s individual needs and abilities (whether or not they are “neurotypical”). It’s nice to see a voice publicly speaking up for inclusion.
Clothes and the Pagan
Mar 24th
Last fall I joined a movement called The Great American Apparel Diet, in which participants refrain from buying new clothing for a year. It started as a way to curb my impulsive spending, and has wound up making me more mindful on a number of levels. Hence today’s post, Who makes your clothes?
As a disabled person, I value clothes that are easy to put on and take off, easy to care for, and help conceal the figure flaws that come with the territory for my condition. As a Pagan, I value clothes that feel comfortable and beautiful on me. Because I work from home, I have more freedom than many to choose the clothes I like for every day.
For some Pagans, of course, part of the charm of the religion is that whole “naked in your rites” business. Between snow and black flies, Maine is a tough place to try to do that. What do you wear? What would you wear if you could?
Doing it right
Mar 14th
I am not the sort of person who goes to Burning Man. But I know lots of such people, and in the context of a conversation I had occasion to look up the Burning Man Web site.
If you haven’t heard of it, Burning Man is a large festival, or as they call it, “experiment in temporary community,” which takes place in the Black Rock Desert of Nevada every year. Participants create art, music, theme camps, and communities, and then they pack it all up and go away again. The challenge is that along with participating in the event on whatever level pleases you, you also have to provide for your own survival in a very challenging environment, including your own food, water and protection from the sun.
As I say, I’m not a Burning Man sort of person. My kind of festival takes place in a nice hotel with modern plumbing. But I was impressed by the Burning Man page on Wheelchairs on the Playa. It neither encourages nor discourages people with disabilities from attending. It just tells you what you need to know to have a good experience. Planners and promoters of Pagan festivals might do well to take this attitude to heart.
Mithras Reader, vol. 3
Mar 4th
Channing Tatum in "The Eagle"
Incidentally, if you happened to see the movie “The Eagle,” you will notice the character Marcus Aquila (played by the very nice-looking Channing Tatum) offering prayers to Mithras, who was considered a “soldier’s god.”
Buy the Mithras Reader
from your local independent bookseller or, if you don’t have one, at lulu.com.
It really does get better
Oct 29th
I doubt anyone reading this blog has gone through life without experiencing the feeling of being different, perhaps even being excluded or bullied or abused for your differences. I think that may be one reason so many of us resonate to the “It Gets Better” project, started by columnist Dan Savage to try to stem a wave of suicides among young people who were (or were thought by their peers to be) gay.
Likewise, you don’t have to have ever carried an extra pound on your body to understand why Maura Kelly was wrong when she wrote in Marie Claire about how much she hates watching fat people walk or kiss. But you have to be a pretty awesome person to realize that Kelly’s hatred comes from a place of fear and self-hatred, as the awesome Plumcake of Manolo for the Big Girl does in this excellent post. Sample quote:
Other people don’t need to be bad to make you feel good. Other people don’t need to be ugly for you to be beautiful. It’s not a zero-sum game. Never has been.
And I’ll warn you that this video made me cry like a baby, and you should totally watch it anyway, and share it with everyone you know who is, or has been, hurt by others for being different.
If you’re reading this and other people are making your life miserable because of your religion or your race or your sexuality or your disability, please know that this is not forever, that you can live to prove everyone wrong about you, just by pursuing happiness on your terms. But the key word is “live.”
Disability Goddess?
Oct 26th
When I was looking for a name for this blog, I did a little searching to try to find the name of an ancient goddess who had some kind of disabiity. Aside from Themis, the Greek goddess of justice (who is blindfolded, not blind, and was not even blindfolded in early depictions), I found nothing.
It is tempting to argue that in cultures both ancient and modern, there is more of a role for the man with a disability than a woman, that women are/were simply expected to be beautiful and perfect, and ignored if they are/were not.
But I don’t want to imply that being disabled is any less of a problem for men (indeed, in today’s cowboy-up culture it may be more difficult for a man to admit he needs help), and I also am aware that there are many areas of world religion where my knowledge is scanty. So: Are there any disabled goddesses?
Time Warp: A Lesson in Dance and Mobility
Oct 26th
Here’s a lesson in inclusiveness from “Glee,” of all things. (Gosh, I feel old. I remember when “Rocky Horror” was the dirtiest movie I’d ever seen.) The dance, as described in the lyrics, includes jumping, stepping and pelvic thrusting, yet who can doubt that the guy in the wheelchair is well and truly a part of this Time Warp?
Expectations
Oct 25th
Because I’m thinking about these issues of late, I’m trying to be extra careful with events for which I’m responsible. Which brings me to my wonderful friend Kat, who is not at all disabled, but is pregnant. (You can read more about her journey at Aurora’s Dawn.)
Many Pagans believe in some version of a goddess like Gaia, who created the earth.
For convenience’s sake, insurance companies classify pregnancy as a “short-term disability,” but I prefer to think of it as “doing something really awesome and miraculous.” (I’ve never done it myself, so have no memories of morning sickness to de-romanticize my view!)
Nonetheless, it does place certain limitations on a woman’s body. I know Kat would let me know if she needed anything special at the Red Temple gathering I’m hosting next month. Still, I’m trying to be proactive by making sure she has a place to park near the event. And I’m pretty sure we’ll all be willing to get RIGHT out of her way when she needs the bathroom!
Pregnancy is not exactly an “invisible” disability, but some pregnant women have a tougher time physically than others, even at stages where they may not “show.” (This might be a good time to remind everyone of Dave Barry’s rule that you do not ask a woman if she is pregnant until and unless you actually see a baby emerging from her. If she has merely put on weight, believe me, she does NOT want to hear it.)
For some women, this may be the first time they’ve experienced much in the way of physical limitation. Despite the ads that show happy pregnant women doing yoga and strutting off to work in perfectly coordinated maternity outfits, the reality is that many women experience pain and fatigue along with other symptoms that may make it less comfortable for them to participate fully in Pagan rituals and experiences.
Of course, in a perfect world every woman (Pagan or no) would have access to caring medical professionals and a supportive community to make sure all her needs — physical, emotional and spiritual — were met. I know Kat is blessed in many ways, and I also know there are many Pagans in our community who already feel a bond to her daughter Mary Athena. I can’t wait to meet her!
Good post on this topic
Oct 25th
from P. Sufenas Virius Lupus at Aedicula Antinoi. Sample quote:
Something else that I see more and more is the idea that, with proper spiritual practice, those who are on medications for psychological and physiologically-based mood or mental disorders will somehow “get over” their need for such things eventually.
Yes, thank you for your concern, but my issues will not go away if I become a vegan/eat only raw foods/take elderberry supplements/get cranio-sacral therapy/believe in fairies.
Virius Lupus also gives some fascinating historical data on a set of games held at the Egyptian city of Memphis in about 220 CE. Along with categories for competitors who were children and teens, the athletes also included a category that we might interpret to include people who were blind or disabled.
Read the whole thing here.
There’s Another Way
Oct 25th
Yesterday’s post discussed a Pagan organization that did not do a good job of making a mildly disabled festival-goer feel welcome. I’m fortunate to be part of a community where there is a concerted effort to do things differently. They prefer to keep a low profile, so we’ll just call them the SSPG (Sooper Sekrit Pagan Gathering).
On SSPG’s e-mail list, an organizer of next season’s annual gathering is already gathering ideas for ways to include people of varying mobilities in the main ritual. She was challenged by a former dancer to come up with ways that everyone can dance — not just participate, DANCE. Among the suggestions from the group:
- Raising energy by joining hands and making a “stirring the cauldron” motion with the joined hands.
- Creating a center focal point where mobility-challenged people can move and drum (the outer group then performs a spiral dance, and at the center you have to kiss a drummer!).
- An idea from a past SSPG ritual, in which participants sort themselves into Earth, Air, Fire and Water groups. Air, Fire and Water leave the ritual area to explore the outdoors and bring back symbols. Earth remains in the ritual space and does Earth-related work (I can envision consecrating a stone altar, for example).
I don’t know what the final ritual will look like, but I know that the organizers have shown courtesy and thoughtfulness in preparing for a variety of people to take a meaningful part — including listening to people who have disabilities.